1. Change the Setting
Change the environment, activity, or people
involved, so your child feels secure. For example, if your child
becomes over-stimulated when playing games with her friends, you might
recommend she avoid multiple distractions such as turning off the TV or
try a different activity such as coloring or playing outside.
2. Respond Calmly
Respond
to the situation calmly and without your own anger or emotion. This is
by far the most important skill you need to learn. If your child's
behavior has made you angry, take a few minutes to calm down before
deciding how to respond. Example: Your child is angry and hits you.
Don't emotionally react. That would play right into the behavior giving
him the attention he is wanting. Address the behavior but careful not to
show surprise, fear or anger.
3. Teach Alternate Behaviors
Teach
your child alternate and more socially appropriate ways of expressing
what he wants or needs. For example, if your child fights over sharing
toys with friends or siblings, teach him the process of borrowing ("Can I
play with your puzzle for a little while?") and bartering ("I'll loan
you my book if I can play with your puzzle.") Model this behavior for
him by showing respect for his possessions.
4. Offer Choices
Offer
choices and opportunities for your child to have more control over her
environment. For example, if your child is a fussy eater, ask her what
she'd like to eat, provide her with options ("Would you like a
peanut-butter or tuna-fish sandwich?"), or make her part of the process
("Why don't you help me cook dinner/pick out groceries?").
Remember
children with problem behaviors many times have processing issues as
well; be sure to limit those choices to two or three. Children with
processing and impulsive issues often have problems making choices.
Abstract choices such as "go play with your toys" are to overwhelming
for them. Try saying, "do you want to play with Spiderman or Lego's"
show both toys then state "pick one." Doing this without emotion from
you gives the child the opportunity to choose without becoming
overwhelmed.
5. Notice the Positive
Notice positive
behavior when it occurs and provide genuine praise. For example, "That
was very nice of you to let your brother play with your toy." I even say
after a meltdown "nice job getting yourself calmed back down." Praise
everything!
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/8029978
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